Part 42: 5/30-5/31: Everybody's Horny And Life Is Terrible

Part 41: 5/30-5/31: Everybody's Horny And Life Is Terrible



Anon: shitty site, but cool idea

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)




Music: Everyday Days



So, you’ve finished reading The Gallant Rogue. That splendid spirit that pays no mind to the bad guys… He’s a true example of a gentleman thief. After reading this, I’m sure you have a better understanding of a chivalrous thief’s courage.

Maaku gains Guts +3.




And we get another rank up.

Music: So Boring



I can’t go sea fishing because I get seasick easily. So much for my dream of being a sailor. Oh right. When people think of sailing the high seas, they tend to think of pirates. Even though they’re ruffians who plunder other ships and coastal settlements through force… For some reason, they ended up getting romanticized. Now then, Hamiru-kun. Who was the pirate who said that he hid his treasure in a certain place just before he was executed?



Pshh, this was part of my Persona trivia like 30 updates ago.

That’s right. The answer is William Kidd, also known as Captain Kidd. Kidd was a merchant who had raised money from aristocrats. He should have been subduing pirates… ...But in order to turn his commission into a profit, he ended up becoming a pirate himself.

Maaku gains Knowledge +1.

The money he used for his exploits was essentially the aristocracy’s. He himself wasn’t considered rich. Still, several novels were written based on his legend, and people still look for his treasure today. By the way, I’ve heard that there’s an island in Kyushu where Kidd’s treasure is said to sleep…
Kidd’s secret treasure, huh… Regardless of its actual worth, there’s still value in letting that many people dream about it.

Yeah, dream it. Don’t give it up.




I need your help with something… I found this flyer stuffed in my mailbox.

Music: My Homie



“Housekeeping Service”! It says that a cute maid will do anything for you! A maid, dude! A MAID! Who’ll do ANYTHING for us! Right? ...Right!?

Oh god, it’s time for Horny Ryuji. Well, at least it’s no Horny Yosuke, the worst character in Persona 4.



...You’re a guy, right? You know what I mean! Let’s give it a try. Yeah? Yeah!



Luckily, some guy on my floor just moved out so there’s a vacant apartment in my complex. The key is behind the mailbox, so we can get in anytime. The landlord seriously doesn’t care. The place is all set, so...




Um, can I, uh… ...Get in on this?
Oh-ho! You mean you’re into this kinda stuff? Wow! Okaaay…
I-I’m not into it! It’s just for research!

“I’m just writing a trashy novel about sex workers, I promise!”

What does it mean that they’ll do “anything”? And do the maids look exactly as they’re advertised? We need to determine whether or not this company just pretends to offer housekeeping services!

Nice save, Mishima.



I-I… ...Just want to punish the bad guys! And in order to do that, I have to see it with my own eyes!
Yeah, we gotta see it with our own eyes. Every little detail… *snicker* We’ll have to do this at night, so let us know when you’re ready.
So what’s the code name for this operation…? Hmmm…




Nice! I like that!



With that nonsense out of the way, it’s time for other things.



First, let’s trade in The Gallant Rogue for The Great Thief at the library.

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)




We also go to the diner. Maaku gains Kindness +1 from the Nostalgic Steak and Knowledge +3 from studying due to the rain.

Music: Beneath the Mask



You know, about that flyer! We need to look into the truth behind that housekeeping service. I’m over at Central Street right now, so come talk to me if you’re interested.
Looks like Mishima’s waiting for us in Shibuya. Do you think we should go see him?
>Decide later

We have other plans. But first…

...Another box came for you.



These Wild Clogs give Resist Fear. We probably won’t ever equip them.



He’s received even more praise for his dynamic art style. Requests for commissions are flooding in.
It seems that even people outside of Japan love him too. I don’t really get art…

What happened to you being such a cultured phantom thief?



Since it’s Monday and we haven’t been in a while, we go to the baths. Maaku gains Charm +3.



Anon: My friend said they’re real!

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



By the way, the exhibit’s ‘til the end of this week, huh… We did what we could, and now we wait for the results.



Nope. That’s one option that’s a definite “no.” School’s enough for studyin’. Let’s exercise, man!

Music: Tokyo Emergency



Let’s hang out with Ann today.

Strengthening my heart is turning out to be harder than I thought… Do you think we can maybe talk some more about it?
>Hang out with her
Then let’s head back to Inokashira Park. We can talk there.

Music: Break it Down



This place seriously feels amazing. It’s not even that far from Shibuya, but it feels so different here. You know, Tokyo is so strange. There are tons of people and tons of stores, yet there are still duck-filled parks here too. It has everything… but it feels like I can’t understand any of it. It’s honestly kinda scary.




When I first got here, I had a super tough time adjusting. It’s so crowded, and everyone walks really fast… almost like they’re angry or something. Even at school, I was only ever the “foreigner.” Nobody really knew me; they just spread rumors. I thought maybe my looks were the problem. I even considered dyeing my hair black to match everyone else… But that was when Shiho talked to me. The first thing she said was, “Takamaki-san, your paintings suck.”




According to her, they were so bad that she just HAD to tell me. Pretty mean, huh? Still, that was the first time someone here talked to me without mentioning my looks. We sorta just grew closer after that… and Shiho’s been my best friend ever since.



There’s something else I need to talk to you about!



Do you remember what I told you the last time we came here? About that female thief in the anime I used to watch? Well, I thought of something!




You know how the villains in those shows are always going on about world domination? Well, even though they get beaten by the heroes every time, they never give up. That means they must have really solid hearts… And that’s why I’m going to try and learn from them!




So I’ve decided...




Reminder: Ann is the world’s worst actress.




Goddammit, I have to stop being sarcastic, nobody ever gets it.



All right, I’m making this my ultimate goal for the future. You know, I’ve never really thought much about what I wanted to do in life… but now I have an objective! And that only happened because of talking to you, Maaku! Thanks!
I sense a heightened motivation from Ann...



Well, if I want to be in action movies, I’ll need to work on my actions! I wonder how many sit-ups I’ll have to do… Wait, Ryuji said he knows a good gym! I should ask him for advice!



She’ll definitely be happy to hear that! Come on, let’s jog to the station!

Music: Beneath the Mask



But you asked about pawn to 9-5? I don’t think I’d ever make that move. It’s something a maverick--
Oh, he just moved his pawn to 9-5…

FUCKIN OWNED

Anyway, time for Operation Maidwatch.



You’d seriously look like a criminal if you had one of those allergy masks to go along with your cool glasses!

Gee, thanks Mishima.




One of the better dialogue options in this game.

Sweet, I’ve been waiting for this! ...Wait, you already changed out of your uniform!? I guess that’s a pretty good idea… We’re meeting over at Sakamoto’s place, right? Let’s stop by mine beforehand so I can change too.

Music: My Homie




Y-Yeah! Operation Maidwatch!
If it turns out to be sketchy, we can just bail. The apartment’s vacant, so it’s not like we’ll be messing with anyone’s home.




To think… Sakamoto has a brain. But if that’s the case, then…
Then...
Yep!



I’m just as lost as you, Maaku.

OK, give ‘em a call!



Well, I guess he could do it too. OK, go for it, Mishima.



I-I’m not good with that kinda stuff! Seriously! Please, Hamiru!




They answered!
Shhh!
I take it you’re interested in our services, then?
S-Services…!
Is there anyone in particular you’d like to request?
A-Anyone we want to request!? What should we do, Maaku?



Very well! Let’s see here… We have a maid available in… 20 minutes. May I ask for your address?



A maid’s “services”… Hey… What should we have her do? I was thinking we start with some cooking…

Thinking awfully small, Mishima.

Of course, I wouldn’t mind some of the other services either… ...Should we hold a strategy meeting to discuss?
They said 20 minutes, right…? I gotta use the bathroom…

One bathroom visit later...



You were in there for a while… Are you OK? Hey, did you wash your hands?

Get off his case, mom.

…… Huh? What? Who? Me?
Y-You’re really nervous. Ahaha… haha… uh...



Are high school students even allowed to use this type of service?
Huh?



What if they find out who we are!?
H-How should I know!? But why would how old you are matter when it comes to housekeeping?

Oh Ryuji, you pure, sweet, innocent flower.

We would’ve been screwed if your number had shown up on their caller ID...




What!? Already!? She’s five minutes early! What do we do!? I’m not mentally prepared!

Music: Sweet

Oh, the door’s unlocked…? Um, may I come in…?
I-I can’t do this…! My stomach’s actin’ up! And my hands are all sweaty!



This was your idea and you’re bailing!? Goddammit, you putz.

I’ve got your back! Just… From way back! Like, from the balcony!
Wh-What? I can’t do this either! Hamiru, we’ll leave it to you!

Now, I can’t even really be mad at Mishima, because I’m honestly impressed he hasn’t thrown up or wet himself. Fine, whatever, I’ll get all the action myself!



Excuse me… Oh, there you are!



I’m going to fill your tired heart full of lovely energy. Meow! ♥ I’m Becky, and I have the pleasure of serving you today. ♥



We’re going to get along so well! Meeeooowww! ♥♥ Oh my… how thoughtless of me! I should explain our services to you, Master! What would you like me to do today? The basics include cooking, cleaning, laundry… But there are other “services” we provide if you desire. ♥



Are you… perhaps… ...In high school?



This game is really good sometimes.



…… You’re not lying to me, are you…? …… …… …… Hmmm, I’ll wait to provide those other “services” until you’ve matured a bit, Master. ♥ Sooo… I’ll be going now. ♥

All that for nothing. Shit.



Quiet…!



Music: Suspicion



Oh no…!
Shit! Run, Mishima!
Mishima? Sakamoto-kun?

Uhhh...






This is our first meeting. Yes, the first time ever, Master. ♥



Ugh, this is unbelievable… Yes, it’s me… your homeroom teacher.

This night is a profound tragedy on every level. It is a cancer upon my soul.

I’m so done… I can’t believe I got caught by some of my own students...



I should’ve taken a job outside of the city. But I needed it to be close to school so I could go there after I finished work… ...Who did you hear about this from?




Ms. Chouno, the English teacher… She’s been snooping on all the teachers ever since that incident with Mr. Kamoshida. ...Are you going to tell Ms. Chouno about this?



Let’s not fucking blackmail this woman.

Hmmm… It doesn’t seem like you’re playing dumb… In any case, I’ll get in big trouble if you tell on me. …… Hey, if you’re going to side with a teacher, side with me. I’m in charge of your class, after all. And if you promise not to tell Ms. Chouno about this, I’ll do anything for you!



This is tragically the less skeevy option.



Kawakami’s got some great facial expressions.

Hey… It won’t be any better for you if people find out that you called a maid service. This isn’t even your home address to begin with, is it? I guess you at least thought about that. Well, I’ll promise to keep this a secret too… so why don’t we both forget this ever happened? I’ll treat this as if you had canceled, so you won’t have to pay anything. OK?



Don’t say anything about this at school, OK!? Just act as if nothing ever happened! Got it? OK, bye!
I suddenly feel exhausted… I want to go home...

Yeah, fucking same. What a weird goddamn game this is.